3. You drink coffee.
“Oh look at me, I am an adult and I am drinking coffee. Lots of coffee, and it’s black, too. Black coffee ‘cause milk is for babies and sugar will overwhelm that roasted bean coffee taste, and I really need to taaaaste it! LOOK AT ME, I’m holding my cup from [insert coffeehouse chain name]! I gotta drink my coffee. Roasted Arabica beans and fair trade from Kenya — but no milk! No milk! No sugar!!!! IamdrinkingcoffeeIamdrinkingcoffeeIamdrinkingcoffee.”
Three days in hospital and two in a drug-induced haze. I just need someone to want to hold my hand.
(Source: sisforstephie)
- Spent 30 straight minutes crying over a story about Somalia on 60 Minutes.
- Spent 8 straight hours of work researching how to join the United Nations/UNICEF/Amnesty Int. etc.
- Realised it’s actually pretty hard to get a UN gig for anyone that isn’t Angelina Jolie.
- Completely overhauled my University plans to study a fluff Communications degree and promptly switched in to Law & International Relations (holy shit.)
- Spent 40 straight minutes weeping softly whilst writing a letter of thanks to Waris Dirie for ‘Desert Flower’ and all her in$pirationz.
- Spent 5 minutes panicking and hyperventilating over the fact that I might one day disappoint Waris Dirie and the entire nation of Somalia and probably the UN and Angelina Jolie and my Nan.
- Ate cookies.
- Stared at my once-a-month boobs.
- Ate a few more cookies.
- Hoped that my cat was/is still alive to see me resurrect the nation of Somalia and put an end to female genital mutilation because that one time I had PMS really bad and that guy I sorta liked but he was a bit of a wanker stopped calling me and she still slept in my bed with me and didn’t care that I got high and only brushed my teeth for like 45 seconds that night.
I need a shoulder. Or some vodka. Or some sense. Maybe a combination of those things. ASAP.
Instagram fridge magnets, they totally sucked me in.
Mount Everest costs $25 000-$60 000 to climb. Laters #1 life goal.
(Source: madeinnnva, via withtheseamericanthighs)
Excuse me women of the United States of America, can y’all please explain to me how all your funny dudes are still single?I sent this picture of Courtney Stodden laying in a river of lava to Courtney Stodden but she didn’t respond. Her loss. If someone photoshopped me burning in a lake of fire, I’d at least be like “Aw come on, bro” but STODDZ is straight icing me.
Two weekends away from the Gold Coast is just enough to remind me that not everyone in Australia has shitty hair extensions and takes too many ‘roids. Who knew!?
but honestly, i don't really know what i'm doing.
What if instead of living my life and trying really hard to be happy I instead just set myself on fire, but before I did that, I killed all of the...
bedroom things. (Taken with instagram)
Submitted by Torre Healy
