February 2012
13 posts
Those couple of "gap years" I spent attached to a...
Classes start tomorrow and I just tried to spell neck with a silent ‘K’. As in Kneck. Fuck.
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A Story of Reluctant Sobriety →
How to Man-Handle February 14th
Slasher films and minimal contact with the outside world.
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I probably won’t even brush my hair this Valentine’s Day.
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Things my seventeen-year-old sister should know by...
Kimberly: MILF! Yuk, look there’s a MILF on TV!
Liz: Jesus Kimberly.
Kimberly: A MILF is a Mum slut, that lady was a Mum slut. A MILF. What?
Liz: MILF is a ‘Mother I’d Like to Fuck’, as in M-I-L-F…
Kimberly: Shut up. Wow.
January 2012
24 posts
10 Ways In Which 20-Somethings Act Like Children ... →
3. You drink coffee.
“Oh look at me, I am an adult and I am drinking coffee. Lots of coffee, and it’s black, too. Black coffee ‘cause milk is for babies and sugar will overwhelm that roasted bean coffee taste, and I really need to taaaaste it! LOOK AT ME, I’m holding my cup from [insert coffeehouse chain name]! I gotta drink my coffee. Roasted Arabica beans and fair trade from Kenya — but no...
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Three days in hospital and two in a drug-induced haze. I just need someone to want to hold my hand.
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PMS is going to ruin me probably
- Spent 30 straight minutes crying over a story about Somalia on 60 Minutes.
- Spent 8 straight hours of work researching how to join the United Nations/UNICEF/Amnesty Int. etc.
- Realised it’s actually pretty hard to get a UN gig for anyone that isn’t Angelina Jolie.
- Completely overhauled my University plans to study a fluff Communications degree and promptly switched in to Law...
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stickygram.com →
Instagram fridge magnets, they totally sucked me in.
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Mount Everest costs $25 000-$60 000 to climb. Laters #1 life goal.
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Two weekends away from the Gold Coast is just enough to remind me that not everyone in Australia has shitty hair extensions and takes too many ‘roids. Who knew!?
Anonymous asked: If there was anything in life you could take back or do over again, what would it be?
While you’re hating your life just because you can’t get what you want, remember someone is praying to have a life like yours.
“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making...”
– Neil Gaiman (via drinkyourjuice)
Worth a few reads →
“You used to lie, you used to lie about stealing five dollars from your mother’s purse and about the really Important and Meaningful family heirloom you broke, you used to lie about homework and grades and it was always someone else’s fault. You used to lie when you got hurt doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing and you lied about hitting your little sister, about taking a bath,...
Life and shit, bro
Don’t mistake warm nostalgia for adoration or respect.
Attention Earthlings -
I quit smoking this week so if you could kindly please stop picking fights with and harassing the shit out of me I’ll try not to hit you during my sniper-fueled massacre in a couple days.
December 2011
8 posts
going places
just took two days off from real life to play xbox.
Which variety of idiot buys 12 meters worth of wrapping paper with her Aunty’s recently deceased Father’s name emblazoned all over it?
This kind of idiot.
christmas time again?
where are all these whole years going…?
Puppies are Rad!: What Up Ladies: 5 Reasons Why... →
christopherlindstrom:
Vanilla hands: Strong manly dudes get cut and they lift things and they have high pain thresholds. Weak, frail dudes have very low pain thresholds. Things like dry skin are crippling. So to combat this, weak men need moisturizer. Gallons of it. Shea butter on cocoa butter on Aloe Vera. This…
“You would have run away by now if you didn’t actually like this!”
– To my cat as I pick up her hind legs and wheel barrow her around the house.
November 2011
2 posts
12 year old me is super upset at present day me for forgetting to eat Maxibons for the last eight years.
October 2011
12 posts
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white light in, black smoke out
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the difference between pre-teen girls in opaque leggings and middle-aged bulimics in yoga pants is becoming less and less apparent to me.