3. You drink coffee.
“Oh look at me, I am an adult and I am drinking coffee. Lots of coffee, and it’s black, too. Black coffee ‘cause milk is for babies and sugar will overwhelm that roasted bean coffee taste, and I really need to taaaaste it! LOOK AT ME, I’m holding my cup from [insert coffeehouse chain name]! I gotta drink my coffee. Roasted Arabica beans and fair trade from Kenya — but no milk! No milk! No sugar!!!! IamdrinkingcoffeeIamdrinkingcoffeeIamdrinkingcoffee.”
